TODAY’S WORLD: Under Attack!
What is Happening to Marriage Today?….
At the city garbage tip a powerful earth-moving machine edged relentlessly forwards. The large curved blade on the front rumbled over the surface, sweeping everything in its path into a messy mangled heap. Cans, containers, torn plastic rubbish sacks, broken furniture, and discarded household goods tumbled together and disintegrated under the sheer force of the machine. An unwanted photograph among the rubbish, soiled by its contact with the filth, disappeared for ever beneath the stenching garbage
When an enormous machine like that gets to work, nothing seems able to resist its great power. Everything in its path is under attack. Something else today is under attack from a powerful foe. The one behind this attack is Satan, and his intention is to destroy Christian marriages.
The discarded photograph at the dump showed a happy young couple on their wedding day, standing outside the church building where they had been married. The husband was proud of his new bride and looked protective as he stood with his arm around her. The young woman was smiling and radiant on this special day. Life, with all its shining prospects, stretched before that couple. For some years, that photograph had enjoyed pride of place in their house and had been admired by family members and friends who visited them. Now it lay discarded, crumpled, crushed and filthy among the items of garbage. It seemed strange that a once-treasured possession should be treated like that, but the reason for the picture’s loss of status was really quite simple. The marriage had ended in divorce. Nobody wanted to be reminded of that happy day in the past any more.
How sad – yet what a familiar scene! How many other people have destroyed their once-treasured wedding photographs as divorce came into their lives and a later wedding replaced the earlier one! Divorce rates have risen alarmingly in many countries. At the same time an increasing number of people now prefer to live together on a trial basis without formally pledging themselves to one another in marriage. Christians are not immune from the heartbreak of broken marriages either. In many churches divorce (with remarriage hard on its heels) is now tolerated because it has become so commonplace.
There is a saying, Prevention is better than cure. In other words, it is better in the first place to stop something undesirable from happening. An attempt to put things right after they have gone wrong may never succeed. The Bible is the best marriage counselling guide in existence. To understand marriage correctly we must turn to its early pages where an important principle is stated.
GOD’S ORIGINAL INTENTION
Marriage was instituted by God long ago in the Garden of Eden. After God had created Eve and had presented her to Adam, Genesis 2:24 states: “Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh” (KJV). Marriage thus involves both leaving and cleaving. A man leaves his own parental home to establish a new home with his wife. United together in marriage, the two become “one flesh”. God’s purpose therefore, from the beginning, was that one man and one woman should commit themselves to each other – for life. The principle has not changed either. This basic statement is quoted no fewer than four times in the New Testament. (1)
Relationships between people of the same sex are becoming legalized in some countries today, but they remain forbidden by God (Lev.18:22). Divorce is also something that God hates (Mal.2:16 NKJV). Interestingly, the only Gospel that appears to sanction divorce is Matthew’s Gospel where twice it is stated that “for fornication” it is permissible (Mt.19:9; 5:32). It is generally recognized that this particular Gospel was written for the Jewish reader, and the “exception clause” (as it is sometimes called) must be understood in the light of this fact. In the opening chapter we have an example of divorce that provides an extremely useful key to understanding the subject. In Matthew 1:19-20 Joseph considered whether he should “put away” Mary, to whom he was engaged. Although not married, notice that she is already called his “wife”. The fact that the Lord used the word “fornication” rather than “adultery” in Matthew 19:9 as the one reason for divorce strongly suggests that what He had in mind was not the breaking up of a marriage but the cancelling of an engagement. There are, however, other reasons why a Christian should weigh up very carefully this whole question of divorce.
TWO CONSIDERATIONS
During the time of Moses, divorce took place in Israel. Commenting on this practice, the Lord Jesus explained that Moses had only permitted it on account of the hardness of people’s hearts (Mt.19:8). Clearly Christians ought not to have hard hearts, and husbands are specifically told not to be “bitter” towards their wives (Col.3:19). When bitterness is allowed to fester it can produce a hard heart, and we are warned to beware of “the deceitfulness of sin” that can arise from a hardened heart (Heb.3:7-8, 12-13). A hardened heart lacks compassion and only thinks in terms of closing the door on reconciliation and seeking divorce to terminate the marriage. The law of many countries today is in direct conflict with the law of God. It may be legally possible to obtain a divorce in the country where you live when the Word of God does not allow it.
There is another consideration to take into account. When a man and a woman enter into a Christian marriage, vows are made in the presence of God. Both parties agree to be faithful to one another “until death us do part”. The solemnity of those moments when mutual promises were made in the presence of God ought never to be forgotten. God expects us to keep those solemn vows. His Word declares, “If a man vow a vow unto the LORD … he shall not break his word; he shall do according to all that proceedeth out of his mouth” (Num.30:2). From day one in their married lives, a couple need to seek the help and grace of God in order to be faithful to the vows they made before Him.
BUILDING FOR STABILITY
In Ephesians 5:22-31 we find the building blocks for successful marriage relationships. Wives are instructed to submit to their own husbands, recognizing that the husband is the “head” in the marriage (v.22-23). Husbands are told to love their wives as much as they love themselves (v.25, 28). Another relationship is considered in this passage – and it presents a great challenge. Husbands are to love their wives with the same sacrificial love that Christ displayed for the Church when He “gave Himself for it” (v.25). A wife is to submit to her husband as readily as the Church submits to Christ who is its Head (v.24). Christian marriage therefore ought to reflect the beautiful relationship that exists between Christ and the Church. If we (who form the Church) realized the greatness of Christ’s love, we would the more gladly submit to Him. Similarly, a wife who knows that she is genuinely loved, appreciated and cared for by her husband will the more readily submit to him.
Another passage that speaks directly to married people is 1 Peter 3:1-7. The responsibilities of both wives and husbands are outlined, but the final words of the passage are particularly worthy of notice. A Christian husband and wife are “heirs together of the grace of life”, sharing equally in God’s free and wonderful salvation. The reason that both are cautioned to fulfil their responsibilities is “that your prayers be not hindered”. If a Christian couple do not live in harmony together, seeking to obey the Word of God, they cannot expect their prayers to have any effect.
THE RIGHT PERSPECTIVE
Not all are called to marry (Mt.19:10-11). However, the Bible plainly teaches that an unmarried Christian must not even contemplate marrying an unbeliever. To do so would be to establish an unequal yoke and to mix light with darkness (2 Cor.6:14). The Lord is able to guide a prayerful Christian who is concerned about finding the right partner. If it is His will for you to marry, you can be sure that He will lead you to the right person as you wait upon Him. Remember, however, that the most important consideration is not the other person’s looks, status, or ambitions but whether they truly fear the Lord and are intent on pleasing Him.
For those who are married, Scripture has many things to say. Marriage is intended to be fulfilling, and a Christian husband is encouraged to “live joyfully” with his wife (Eccl.9:9). They ought to want one another’s company! Obviously if a man and his wife do not spend adequate time together, they will drift apart.
Satan has succeeded in destroying many Christian marriages. He has various tactics, and we do well to be on our guard. Pursuing separate careers has its dangers in a marriage. Temptations can exist in the workplace where, for instance, a man may be working in close proximity to another woman. Over-familiarity has, more than once, opened the door to an adulterous relationship. Worldly goals have caused the breakdown of other marriages, when materialism has imposed an intolerable strain on the relationship.
A Christian couple apart can be weak and vulnerable. Together, they can be a powerful influence in furthering the cause of Christ as they open their home in His service. Two, united, can overcome an enemy, “and a threefold cord is not quickly broken” (Eccl.4:12). A man and a woman united in marriage with the Lord Jesus Christ can be invincible.
END NOTE: – (1) Genesis 2:24 is quoted in Mt.19:5, Mk.10:7, 1 Cor.6:16 and Eph.5:31.